Do You Give Others the Most Appreciated Gift?

Last month, two different CEOs of similar-sized companies — both somewhere between 100 and 130 employees — gave me walking tours of their offices and plants inside the same week.
 
And I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast in their styles.

One walked from beginning to end at a fairly brisk pace.  Head mostly down.  Acknowledging a few people with a “hello” or “good morning”.  And occasionally pointing out a few key areas to me with explanatory dialogue.
 
I made eye contact with almost everyone we passed, greeted them, and couldn’t help but notice that several veered away when they saw the CEO approaching — while others seemed shy or reserved in greeting him.

Frankly, this wasn’t out of the ordinary for most tours I’m part of.  

The second CEO was very different.  He bubbled over with conversation.
 
He walked me much slower through the entire company.  Greeted everyone by first name.  And often inquired if they had a good weekend or asked about a particular family member’s recent illness, trip or event, with sincere, genuine interest.  His eye contact was locked in, and he stayed focused on their response without distraction.

As we stopped in key areas of the company, he called over the department head, introduced us with short, flattering backgrounds of both the manager and me, then asked him or her to explain the department’s purpose and key accomplishments.  Each one beamed in his 45 seconds of spotlight time.

From there we would progress, one by one, to the next area, and the CEO would replicate the preceding scene.

One time he asked the manager:  “Please tell Rick how you and your team solved the Bakersfield dilemma in record time with three staffers on vacation,” giving her a chance to brag about group performance.
 
The excitement seemed to increase as we made our way through the warehouse.  Everyone greeted him with eager anticipation and genuine — not fake or contrived — conversation about both personal and business matters.

The entire tour took three times as long, but somehow seemed shorter.

I said “stark contrast”.
 
I think you can see what I mean.

While both companies were doing well, morale and operating results in the second, quite frankly, far exceeded the first.
 
My mind instantly drew a parallel.   What value or connection must there be between a leader’s attitude toward others in the company and the overall operating results of the organization?
 
Hard to put a number to it — maybe even impossible — but to me, to say there is a crystal clear connection is an inescapable conclusion.

Lessons & Actions For You:  

What did the second CEO do so much better than the first?
 
A number of things.  And each provides a lesson for leaders wearing all titles — presidents, GMs, VPs, business unit heads, managers, supervisors, anyone who has direct reports.
 
Yes, even parents, teachers and coaches.

First, he called everyone by their first name — no matter their title, position, or stature in the company.  That means he knows all their names.
 
Do you know the names of all the people in your organization?  By what date will you get that committed to memory … along with a “system” to add in new hires as they join?

You know what really angers me?
 
People using the lame, limp excuse “Oh, I’m just terrible with names.”  Or, “I have a horrible memory.  I hear a name and forget it seconds later.”
 
Oh yeah?

You think you have some genetic handicap that entitles you to forget the name of someone who helps support your lifestyle?
 
Then vacate your management position and clean out your desk today.

Short of an excusable memory disorder (amnesia, dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc.), there is no such clinical ailment as “I can’t remember names.”  Only an unwillingness to try.  Which is nothing less than flimsy excuse-making.

In my view, it should be a requirement that — at minimum — leaders must know the names of their followers, employees or constituents.     
 
Within reason, of course.  It’s dictated by the number of people and frequency of contact.
 
I believe a leader can know 100 to 200, even more.  Think that’s ridiculous?
 
Then you’re guilty of making intolerable excuses for yourself.
 
Pfui!  This is important, so make it a priority.  

The human brain is the world’s most sophisticated computer, with memory capacity so infinite you’ll never use it all.  You have no excuse except laziness.

Get off your butt and take a memory-skill course.  There are plenty available.

Or keep a written log with names and biographies and photos — with proper spelling and preferred nicknames — like Elizabeth or Liz or Beth.
 
There is no excuse — at least not a valid one — for not remembering names.
 
Dale Carnegie in “How To Win Friends and Influence People” says the sound of a person’s name is, to them, the sweetest sound in any language.  Quit making flimsy excuses for yourself.  You’re a leader for cryin’ out loud.  So act like one and fix this.

Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, was loved and adored by employees.  With retail locations dotting the U.S. landscape, Walton traveled from store to store for Saturday morning staff meetings.  And he was known to remember the names of employees he had not seen in over a year.
   
Think that doesn’t impress an hourly employee in the housewares department?  You bet it does.  And everybody else around who witnesses it.
 
Later, when that same employee is facing a critical decision like:  dodging an irate customer with a burning problem and quickly hustling out of sight… or confidently stepping in to help calm the situation and solve the problem… guess which one she might now pick?
   
Second, the CEO knew enough about people, their departments and accomplishments — both personally and professionally — to introduce them with clarity, pride, and conviction.
 
Do you know this critical information about your people and your departments?  

Why not?  By what date will you have compiled a fact sheet on each person and each area of your business and have it committed to memory… along with a “system” to gather and incorporate new information as it happens, so you’re always current?

If you give yourself permission to be “bad with names”, you’re copping out, and that’s intolerable.

What you really are is ignorant of the value of knowing and remembering people’s most prized possession — their name — and rude for not making it a top priority.  
 
Politicians may be atrocious leaders, but one thing they do well (most anyway) is remember names, faces, and backgrounds of people important to their causes.
 
Ever see a movie where an elected official is walking through a party “working the room” with an aide whispering into his ear the name of an approaching individual, spouse, company, title, and campaign contribution amount?
 
That’s a memory system.  

If that seems plastic or contrived to you, get over it.  It works!  And people appreciate being remembered.  They won’t know — and don’t care — how you do it.  Just that you did.
 
And it touches their heart.

I often speak to small groups of 12 to 25, meet and greet everyone before I go on, and in less than 30 minutes I have everyone’s first name memorized and use it several times throughout my talk.   

People often ask me if I have a photographic memory.  
 
No, just an appreciation for the value of remembering someone’s name, and a mental system for doing so.

You can use rhyming words, animal images, clothing color, “looks like my cousin Donna”, any number of techniques.  

But first you must get past giving yourself permission to forget.  It’s not okay.  You’re a leader!

I also keep folder files of people, some sorted alphabetically, some by client, some by group they belong to.  Others on computer.
 
Then before a meeting, I do a quick 10 to 15-minute “refresher” of the file — spouses and kids’ names, home towns, hobbies and passions, college, cities lived in, whatever I have.
 
Being armed with this may even be more important than knowing critical data about the company or project we’re meeting on.  

Again, it comes down to two things:
 
(1)    Appreciating the value other people place on having their names and important information remembered.

(2)    Taking the time to create simple systems to gather, store, retrieve, and review it all.

It ain’t about having a photographic memory.  Only one in a thousand do.
 
Yes, the most-appreciated gift you can give another… is the sweet sound of their own name… remembered quickly, pronounced properly, spoken clearly.
   
It’s a gift that costs you nothing to give.  Yet is worth vaults of gold to the recipient.
 
So what’s your excuse?

About the Author:

Rick Houcek facilitates off-site strategic planning retreats, helping CEOs and Leadership Teams create high-impact plans that overcome the crippling effects of lousy execution (the single biggest cause of plan failure) - and get successfully implemented!  His dynamic Power PlanningTM strategic process drives action through his Escape-Proof AccountabilityTM system.  It’s ideal for small and mid-size businesses.  To bring this potent weapon to your team, contact Rick by phone, email or fax.  Visit his web site at www.SoarWithEagles.com.   And ask about his 100% No-Risk Guarantee.