The Logistics of being Santa Claus

If you think Fed Ex, DHL, and the post office are busy dealing with the logistics of delivering gifts this Christmas, their workload is minimal compared to what Santa will be dealing with this year. 

667 million Christian children, who have been “good” this year,  will be waiting in 156 million homes this Christmas for Santa to bring them gifts. But only 500 million of them will actually receive presents from him. Santa continues to maintain a strict policy of not delivering gifts to naughty children, but he, as in years past, will still leave a lump of coal as a reminder to be good next year. 

Deliveries for Santa, some estimate, begin at 9 p.m. in each time zone. In order to complete his route on time, Santa only has 31 hours, taking in to account that he gains time when he moves across time zones. 156 million homes in 31 hours. Santa has the art of working under pressure down to a science.

Santa’s delivery route covers 111 million miles which requires him to zip through the skies at  3.6 million miles per hour. Is it any wonder that they describe him as “a little old driver so lively and quick”? Yes, Santa thinks the space shuttle moves at a snail’s pace at only 3094 miles per hour. He feels the same about the Thrust SSC - a car designed to set the first ever supersonic World Land Speed Record. Conceived with a capability of reaching 850mph, it is the most powerful car ever built. I wonder what Santa would charge a civilian to hitch a ride with him? How much was it for a civilian to ride on the space shuttle?

Santa is undoubtedly under a tight schedule as he has 1,398 homes to visit per second, on average. In that time,  he needs to land his sleigh on the roof,  shimmey his “too many cookies” body down the chimney, put the gifts under the tree, drink any milk or hot chocolate and eat any treats left for him, and put any carrots in his pockets for his reindeer, get back to his sleigh, and move on to the next house. I think this year I’ll leave Santa something to munch on during his trip - fruit-flavored Tums. Or maybe I should give him some money to pay for parking fees when he’s in the Atlanta area.

Santa’s sleigh must be quite the transport vehicle, as it’s estimated that he has to hold 500,000 tons of cargo on Christmas Eve. I wonder how much his sleigh actually weighs with the reindeer, sleigh, and his “bowl full of jelly” factored in? And what kind of lightweight packing material does he use to keep the gifts from getting broken along the way? Santa is a genius when it comes to logistics.

Santa, as popular today as he was decades ago, has no time to speak to his millions of fans around the world. But, that doesn’t stop his fans from finding out how close he is to delivering to their home on Christmas Eve.  Santa is tracked by NORAD every Christmas by radar, satellite, Santa cams, and even jet fighters. Yet, Hollywood celebrities complain about being followed by photographers following them in cars, helicopters, and planes.  Maybe it’s time they put the price they pay for being famous in the right perspective? Santa knows all about fame and having his every move watched.

 

So, this Christmas be thankful that you’re not Santa. Relax, spend time with your family and friends, and count every one as a blessing in your life. All the gifts in the world can’t compare to the things that money can’t buy like good health, happiness,  the love of your friends and family, and peace in the world. And remember when you’re waiting for Santa to arrive, “hope for the best but prepare for the worst”. Remember Santa does deliver coal sometimes. Be well and above all, be good! :)