What was the highlight of your day?

A friend of mine sent me a questionnaire this week, that she had received from one of her friends. I’m sure you’ve gotten them before. They ask you questions about what your favorite TV shows are, what color crayon would you be, what are your favorite foods, etc. The email always asks you to pass it along to your other friends. Typically, these kinds of emails tell you if you pass it to 3 people in 3 minutes, you will have something wonderful happen to you in 3 days or something similar. They usually also warn you if you don’t pass it along, you will bring bad luck in to your life.

I seldom pass these kinds of emails along to anyone, not because I’m afraid of bad luck though. Bad luck, in my opinion, is just a compilation of experiences that happen to all of us, at one time or another. Whether the “bad luck” experience involves losing a job, having a relationship end, developing a health problem, or some other life altering event, they occur in our lives because we need a change in the direction we’ve been taking. Yes, I think it’s true, what they say, that “bad luck” is just a series of disguised opportunities. I’m one of those people that just thinks the best way to deal with them is just to “go with the flow”, “ride the wave”, “weather the storm”, well you get the point. Thankfully, nothing lasts forever, whether good or bad.

In any case, I read my friend’s email survey to see how she answered the questions it contained. I guess she caught me on a “good day”, because I decided I’d fill in my answers and at least send it back to her. Typically, I read the email and put it on my email “to do” list, which is a list I never seem to have time to do. Anyway, I complete about 50 questions (yes, I said 50!) and I am grateful that I’ve finally arrived at the last one. As I thought about my answer to it though, I found myself pondering the answer. My answer was an eye-opening experience to me.

If you’ve never asked yourself the question, you might want to try it. You may just have an eye-opening experience of your own. And the best part is, you don’t have to send me or any of your friends your answer to it in the next 3 minutes, 3 days, or 3 months! And if have bad luck after reading this, remember to reread my theory on bad luck. (grin)  Ok, if I haven’t lost you yet, here’s the question and my answer to it. And in case you’re wondering, this experience really did happen to me.


The Question: What was the high point of this day?

My Answer: Making an 87 year old woman smile.

It was Sunday night and I had just gotten on an empty elevator, when I noticed a white curly-haired lady with a walker slowly coming towards me. I pressed the “open door” button until she entered the elevator.  “What floor?”, I asked her. “4”, she said. Two floors down, a two-minute ride at most. The door to the elevator closed and I waited to hear the usual silence of a short elevator ride. The silence didn’t last long, a second, maybe two seconds passed before she broke it.

“I’m 87. I was a hairdresser for 35 years”. OK, how should I respond to that? “Really”, I said. You don’t look 87”. The thought crosses my mind that she doesn’t look a day over 85, but saying less is saying more sometimes. This was one of those times.  Keep it simple. Say something that will make her feel good. Yeah, follow that plan. “Everyone tells me that”, she says. Now I’m thinking, “oh crap, how unoriginal, Dawn. Oh well, let it go, it’s just one of those fleeting moments that you get when you meet someone in an elevator.  I’ll be on my way and she’ll be on her way in a minute.” Little did I know what was about to transpire.

The door opens as we arrive at the 4th floor and I watch her as she starts to make her way out of the elevator. The door is still open when I notice that she has turned herself around to face me. “All of my friends are gone now. And my husband died 9 years ago. I’m lonely. It’s a lonely life”. Where is the “door open” button? Find it, quick! Now is NOT the time to let the door close, Dawn. She continues. “I’m going to visit a friend now but it’s only for an hour”. “ONLY”. It’s amazing that a small word can say so much sometimes. “Oh, so you have a friend to visit here? That’s good.” I smile at her, happy that she has at least one friend left.  She shakes her head. “My new friends are not the same as my old friends”. I manage to get two more simple words out of my mouth. “I know”. 

“My old friends, we used to have so much fun”. I notice her smile. It starts at her lips and comes out through her eyes. I watch as her posture changes as she starts bobbing her shoulders side to side. “We used to dance and have a lot of fun together”.  I smile as I diligently keep my finger pressed on the “open door” button. The transformation that came over her amazed me, as she recalled the good times she had with her old friends.

I’m thinking … good, she’s feeling better now. Not. Her shoulders slump again and her voice softens. “I’m so lonely, I don’t want to live anymore.” Yikes! Is your finger still on the open door button? “I bring soup and little things to my new friends, but they tell me, “I don’t want that”. They’re not like me. They don’t do things like that for me.” She sighs, “I’m too nice”.  

I am speechless, as she shimmies up the bottom of her pant leg to show me her knee.  “Someone told me that when the bump pops, I won’t be able to use my leg anymore.” Who would say something like that to her? I’m thinking.. her “new friends”?  Ok, you’re a woman whose seldom at a loss for words. What do you say to her now? You’ve got to say something. She wants you to say something, anything! Five words come tumbling out of my mouth. “Miracles happen. Believe in miracles”.  Why those particular words came out, I haven’t got a clue.

The words no sooner left my mouth, when I noticed her stand up straighter, her eyes open wider, and a big smile stretch across her lips. “Thank you.  Have a nice night.”. She turned her walker away from the elevator, slowly but surely moving away from me. She had an important 1 hour meeting that she didn’t want to miss. As the elevator door closed, I stood there wondering how a 2 minute elevator ride could turn in to such a touching human experience.

When I got back home, I’d put it out my mind, until I read my email and THE question. While formulating an answer, I thought about my encounter with an 87 year old hairdresser and the reasons why I might have had that experience. I decided that I should try to figure that out. I’ve got one of those “always trying to analyze” personalities. Anyway, I did learn something from my experience and I’ve listed a few of the lessons I derived from it below.  Feel free to add your own observations or comment on this posting, if you wish. And if you’ve never asked yourself the question “what was the highlight of your day”, you might want to try it sometime. You may just find that even an ordinary day may actually have been an extra-ordinary one, after all.
 

• Words are powerful. Use them care-fully.
• Cherish your friends and loved ones. When they’re gone, you’ll miss them until you die.
• When you’re feeling sad, reminisce about good times. It feels good physically and emotionally.
  
• Choose “new” friends carefully.
  
• Understand that you won’t always get what you give.
  
• Be thankful for your health.
• Don’t believe everything other people tell you, especially people who don’t know you well.
  
• Smiles are good. Even a smile from a stranger can be the high point of your day.
• When someone seems to have lost their hope, remind them that miracles do happen. You may not be able to change their situation, but you might be able to revive their hope and lift their spirit.