Workaholism: Could Your Children Pick You Out in a Lineup?

Americans are working harder than ever yet their efforts have resulted in lost jobs, broken marriages, and troubled children. Do you know the difference between working hard and being a workaholic? 

Web MD reports in their article “Workaholism: The Respectable Addiction” that workaholics find it difficult to be a team player because of their perfectionistic tendencies. Personally, I’m not so sure that perfectionism is to blame. My mother has a saying “if you want it done right, do it yourself”. Mom is certainly a perfectionist, but she never had a problem delegating work around the house.  I have years of house cleaning and babysitting experience to prove it. There must be a characteristic other than perfectionism that workaholics possess.

Diane Fassel, PhD, president of Newsmeasures, Inc., a Boulder, Colo., business consulting firm, and the author of Working Ourselves to Death: The High Cost of Workaholism and the Rewards of Recovery says “But many companies often confuse workaholics for hard workers, in essence enabling them on their path to self-destruction. “I wouldn’t say that corporations cause workaholism, but I think they truly support it.” 

People that I know, that I consider to be workaholics view themselves as achievers. But, the workaholics that I know aren’t getting any career benefit by working longer than their co-workers. They spend more time “at work”, whether they’re physically in the office, or they’re at home connecting to the office via their company’s VPN, or spending time on their home or cell phones on business related calls. What I see is that they are spending more time to “get less” out of their lives. But, convincing them that’s true, is a waste of time and effort. There’s always an excuse like “This project HAS to get done and it’s easier when I’m not being interrupted by co-workers like I am when they’re at work.” As a former technical support specialist, I can understand that line of reasoning, but at some point you need to be able to say “no to work” and yes to rebuilding your energy level and the important relationships in your life. You and your company will both benefit when you take time to recharge.

The Wall Street journal reported on the problem in their article “Don’t Let Your Children Mimic Workaholic Ways”.

”Different children react differently to the presence of a workaholic parent. Some imitate the parent and strive, unconsciously, to outdo their mother or father by working even harder. Others rebel, withdrawing into a teen culture that offers plenty of alternative values, including rejecting achievement.”

In the book, Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them, the author, Robinson Bryan, says that there are many different kinds of workaholism. Computers, cell phones, and Blackberries allow workers round-the-clock access to the office, even during their off-work-hours on weekends and on vacations. He says that the spouses and children of workaholics grow feeling isolated and lonely, because of the vacant relationships caused by their workaholic parents. Children of workaholics, he says, continue to carry those feelings in to their adulthood. His book also includes discussions by employers and business colleagues about what workaholism costs the company.

Are you working hard or are you a workaholic?

1. Hard workers view work as a necessary and fulfilling obligation. 

• Workaholics see their work as a place to escape from unwanted feelings and or commitments.

2. Hard workers know how to balance time spent at work and home.

 

• Workaholics make work a priority in their life. They may break commitments to family, friends, and their children to feed their “need” to work. 
  

3. Workaholics get an adrenalin rush from meeting impossible demands.

 

• Hard workers do not.
  

4. Hard workers can turn off their appetite for work.

• Workaholics can not. Whether they’re attending their child’s sporting events or they’re at a family picnic, their minds are focused on work issues and problems they feel need to be fixed.
  

Are you a workaholic? Take the Forbes quiz to find out!

If you’ve been told that you work too much by your family, friends, and co-workers, getting your life back in balance is possible, if you are ready to take charge of your addiction. Yes, working too much is considered an addiction. The organization Workaholics Anonymous deals specifically with the destruction that workaholism can do to your health and the relationships in your life.